I am puke
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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