Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
