But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
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what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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