apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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