i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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