I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
