He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
