My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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