Me too!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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