i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
