Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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