I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
