this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
4 words: hood of his car
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
