Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
