A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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