super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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