Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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