Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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