I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
