the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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