when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
