He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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