I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
