Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
