My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
