This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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