Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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