Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
