I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
