3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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