And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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