I think I am morally bankrupt
i think i have herpe
just one?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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