theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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