Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
