yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
