Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
