OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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