another moral hangover. fuck.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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