dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize