and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
