OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
