Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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