Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
