good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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