Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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