Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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