he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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