i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize