wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Randomize