I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
