We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize