are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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