I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
