and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
