am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am available for nakedness
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
