Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
