in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
