i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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