I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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