OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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