just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I am available for nakedness
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
