Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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