Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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