saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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